The Link Between Gossip & the Love of Story

Ever find yourself drawn to gossip and wild news stories to fill that need for connection and excitement, only to end up feeling kinda empty and alone?

We have all been wired for a love of story and making connections through relationships. Often we can get sidetracked by gossip and over the top news briefs as a way to fill our needs and quick and unhealthy ways. But then we are still left feeling frustrated and lonely.

I look back on times in my life when gossip was very important to me, with hindsight, I can see that it truly was a desire for knowledge and story. I wasn’t enjoying reading at the time, and I didn’t have the capacity for stretching myself and learning new things. (Other than how to keep my small children alive!) I did not have a daily, or even weekly, reading habit and I hadn’t picked up a fiction book since college.

I was also in a desert relationally. The few close relationships I had were based on circumstances and casual acquaintance type conversations. I desperately needed deep and meaningful conversation. Just like a healthy meal, my soul wanted connection with others based on trust and understanding. But instead what I had was the equivalent of “junk food” and this often left me feeling socially depleted and frustrated.

It wasn’t until I started homeschooling that I felt the shift from gossip to worthwhile content. I spent my free time reading educational philosophy and researching literature. Focused on my children’s education, I went to used book sales and purchased shelves of quality fiction. I picked the books that I had enjoyed as a child. The ones that my volunteer librarian grandmother encouraged me to read. We dove into the worlds of Nancy Drew, Chronicles of Narnia, Ramona Quimby, the Burgess Book for Children, Anne of Green Gables, Charlotte’s Web… I read aloud to my children during lunch, while they played with toys on the living room floor, or while I was nursing the baby. We watched the movies when I had morning sickness or I was too tired to read aloud.

Suddenly our lives were full of quality stories and worthy knowledge. With my older kids I discussed the decisions that the characters made and what we have done and similar situations.

On my own I began journaling things that I was thinking about from the reading. I felt something vibrant growing within me.

“Each thing [piece of gossip] in itself is harmless enough; but it is a little distressing to have a child who is always peering about for gossipy information.”

” What ails the child is an inordinate desire for knowledge, run to seed, and allowed to spend itself on unworthy objects.”

Instead see that the child’s mind ” is too full of large matters to entertain the small ones; and, once the [gossip] habit has been checked, encourage the child’s active mind to definite progressive work on things worthwhile.”

– Charlotte Mason – Vol. II p. 176 & 177

In these quotes Charlotte Mason is referring to the education and parenting of our children.

But often what is even more important is that we parent ourselves.

When we fill ourselves with worthwhile knowledge, delightful nature study, and quality literature, the abundance of our learnings spills out into our children and our other relationships.

We become people full of ideas and exciting things to talk about. Our conversations reflect the overflow of what we are learning and personal growth.

Reflection Questions:

What have you read lately that has stretched you personally?
What type of stories capture your attention?
Do you have relationships full of deep conversation? How can you invest in that more?

We can seek meaningful connections, fulfilling narratives, and interact with powerful stories. And we can choose to avoid the pitfalls of shallow substitutes like gossip and news sensationalism.