When we are surrounded by specific norms, we no longer see them as optional but as “the way life is”. I want to challenge a few of those…
Let’s jump right in! Here is how I define these words in the beginning pages of my book:
subtle –
(adj.) nuanced, delicate, skillful, laid back
(verb) indirect action, thoughtful planning, covert
resistance –
(verb) to take a stand in opposition, to fight against,
unyielding, to stubbornly oppose
I went through a stack of dictionaries to find words to create these definitions. I was surprised at how often there was a negative connotation to “subtle”. Our culture is so loud and boisterous that it doesn’t leave much space for the quiet and thoughtful leaders.
I want to push back against what has been expected of me.
My resistance against our culture of overwhelm and burnout gives me space to set healthy boundaries.
I plan to live my life according to wisdom, positive relationships, and the goals I am reaching for. I have found that is impossible when I blindly follow the path laid out before me by others.
When we are surrounded by specific norms, we no longer see them as optional but as “the way life is”.
“There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, ‘Morning, boys. How’s the water?’ And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, ‘What the hell is water?’” – David Foster Wallace1
Just like Wallace’s often-quoted joke of a fish asking what water is. That is what happens when expectations and “normal cultural behavior” are driving our decisions.
Each of us have obstacles that are unique depending on age, geography, race, background, career, or who we spend time with. Sometimes they are so quiet and under the surface that we forget they are there guiding us forward.
[from my book: Subtle Resistance – chap. 2 – what is broken & what can change?]
I recently read: Raising Hell, Living Well: Freedom from Influence in a World Where Everyone Wants Something from You (Including Me) by Jessica Elefante
Elefante expands on what capitalism has done to create hidden influences in many levels of our lives. She does an excellent job at explaining why most of us deal with overwhelm and decision fatigue.
Elefante’s last chapters in “Part V: Influential” and “Part VI: Above the Influence” were powerful and left me wanting more. Her book was full of practical next steps with the honesty and humor that kept me engaged.
I found this amazing book while looking for comp titles for my own practical non-fiction manuscript. “Subtle Resistance” is the companion book to Elefante’s work fighting against unseen expectations and burdens.
We are each called to decide what values we want to have in our homes and in our lives.
Here are some areas where I push back:
- DECISION FATIGUE IS NORMAL
- BE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME
- PERFECTION
- EVERYTHING MUST BE HARD
- REST IS POINTLESS
- GROWTH IS AUTOMATIC
- LISTEN TO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD
- HIGH-ENERGY ALL THE TIME
- BIG LIFE MAKEOVERS
- THE NEVER-ENDING FINISHLINE
All of these statements shout at us from our phones, our TV’s, and our news sources.
What if there was another way?
We can choose to resist perfection and burnout. We can avoid keeping up with cultural norms that hurt us.
In my book I share some stories of being held back by the expectations weighing upon me. I unpack the power of simple changes. Together, we look at some common frustrations closely and break the myths keeping us from a life we enjoy. (And that is all just in chapter 2.)
[In this book] I will give you some space to decide what is right for your situation.
I’m NOT here to tell you the “right way” to do anything.
This book is packed with tips, strategies, and ways to combat overwhelm. However, it can be too much if you try to apply everything all at once. So, pick what resonates with you and matches your needs this season. You have my permission (not that you need it) to use this book in a way that works for you.
These ideas have been gathered and practiced over the years. All new things take time. Be kind to yourself and choose what works for you. It is better to make slight changes now than experience the deep exhaustion from burnout.
Remember, I am on your team. I am rooting for you and cheering you on.
You got this!2
From Subtle Resistance – Chapter 2: what’s broken & what can change? by April Edwards 😁
Life is messy and complicated. I write for those readers who want tips to align their schedules with what matters, who desire to structure their lives, combat decision fatigue and perfectionism with simple changes.
I have found that we all crave empathy and kindness in navigating the challenges of adulting.
So, would you like to join me in my Subtle Resistance? What in this post grabbed your attention?
📖🍵 – April
1 David Foster Wallace addressing the graduating class at Kenyon College, 2005. This speech is now one of his most read pieces. In it, he argues against “unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.”
2 From Subtle Resistance – Chapter 2: what’s broken & what can change? by April Edwards 😁Check out this post about my book and where I am at in the writing/publishing process!