I have so much to do! Yes. True. But, if I do not get dirt under my nails from gardening, or make a mess with candle making, then what kind of life is that?
Choosing to spend time on a hobby and chase the fun is worth it.
In this previous post I wrote about Why Hobbies Matter. I shared some reasons for developing a hobby, an idea list, a few reflection questions, and some encouragement. 💙 [read more here…]
I must spend time doing what is needed to homeschool and run a household. However, I also want to feel connected to myself. And I want to create connections with other people by sharing new hobbies and skills.
There obviously must be a balance. (As in all things.) My tendency is to pour out to the point that I have nothing left for myself.
Having hobbies keep me vibrant and alive on the inside. They feed my soul.
So let’s discuss some obstacles that we might face that keep us from reclaiming moments for favorite hobbies.
Others will not understand!
This could be your kids, a spouse, a needy friend, a co-worker who dumps problems on you, volunteer work that drains you, or extended family. Other people may not agree when you start doing things that you need.
They will often be angry or upset that you have changed the balance that was there. After all, they were happy with the arrangement. All their needs were getting met and you were silently suffering… {insert serious sarcasm here} So why not continue that arrangement? Why do things need to change?
They have not felt the pain, you have. It will be an uphill battle to become yourself again. But it is all worth it and they will (hopefully eventually) appreciate what has changed. You cannot pour from an empty bucket forever. You must be filled as well.
Small kids are exhausting!
Yes, Yes, they are! Tiny humans require so much from us. They are adorable and wonderfully fulfilling but also hard. Caring for small kids means your day is full of diapers, snacks, noise, messes, and not having much adult conversation.
As a young mom, I did not maintain hobbies and I was terrible at self-care. The needs of my home and my littles in front of me was so much louder than my own internal desires and dreams. Taking care of myself was constantly delayed to “tomorrow” or “next week”. But I never followed through and so I just wore myself out.
In this time, what I needed more than anything, was to be kind to myself. To rest in the truth that what I was doing was hard and it was enough. I still need to hear this even though my youngest is 9….
[See my blog article about being a mom of young kids.]
Being a beginner is hard!
Being new at something can a wonderfully difficult and humbling experience. We all need to remember what it feels like to be a beginner again. It gives us compassion for our kids when they are learning skills and it shows us that we are capable of hard things.
My cupcakes might look like a Pinterest fail, but they tasted delicious… My homemade candles might be lopsided, but it was fun to make them with my daughter… My piano playing is disjointed and full of bad notes… and my newly sewn curtains are a bit crooked. But I am glad that I did all those things.
I am proud of the effort and skills I learned trying something new.
“Do something badly. Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”
I feel stuck!
New ideas are needed for growth. Education, parenting, and relationships work best when new ideas are present. We need discovery and exploration. That can often take courage and making a lot of mistakes.
We all know this but sometimes we forget. Sometimes we get stuck on why this is all so hard. At each stage of parenting, we need to be growing and gathering new ways to do things. Getting stuck stops us from growth and that is when we get unhealthy. Then patterns of the past take over.
I want my kids to be raised by a mom who is “not done”. I want my kids to see adults in their home who push themselves and do hard things.
Real, vibrant life is found in ideas, hobbies, and discovery.
Which one jumps out at you as the BIG reason?
- Lack of Understanding:
- Explaining my hobby to friends or family can be challenging; they may not grasp its significance or find it interesting.
- Exhaustion from Small Kids:
- Juggling parenting responsibilities with my passion becomes draining, leaving little energy for personal pursuits.
- Difficulty as a Beginner:
- Starting a new hobby can be intimidating; the learning curve and initial challenges can be discouraging.
- Feeling Stuck:
- I often find myself at a standstill, unsure of how to progress or revitalize my interest in my favorite activities.
Do you ever feel like you are faced with these everyday challenges in pursuing your hobbies? I highly recommend a talk with a trusted friend or to spend some time journaling. The solution to your obstacle might be obvious once you have identified it.
Any cool tricks you’ve discovered to tackle these roadblocks?
Please share with us in the comments! We would love to learn from you!
😉Smiles – April
Photos by Giulia Bertelli / Joanna Kosinska / Daria Kraplak and others on Unsplash
Come visit me on Substack = APRIL EDWARDS
