I have always been intrigued by studying personality types and how they frame our lives. Over the years I have read shelves of books about personality types. It is also one of my favorite topics for late-night YouTube binging. My favorite channels explore the humor in the Enneagram, MBTI, and Introvert/Extrovert tendencies. (I will list them below for you to enjoy.)
Anne Bogel is someone that I click with and enjoy gathering wisdom from. The way she wrote this book on personality is approachable and practical. Even though I have had experiences with most of the personality frameworks listed in this book it was helpful to read. The overviews reminded me of things I had forgotten to apply and I saw areas that need more of my attention. It was a fresh perspective.
“Because I understand myself better, I can navigate the world a little better.”
– Reading People by Anne Bogel
If you are interested in personality ideas and discussing how you are wired this book is a great place to start. Anne is gentle with her introductions to these very deep topics. She also offers new insight for those of you who have an understanding of these assessments.
For those of you who want to do a deep dive on the topic here are some resources I collected.
Here are some resources I enjoyed related to her book:
- the Free Discussion Guide on the book for a book club or the reader who enjoys having journal prompts (https://modernmrsdarcy.com/reading-people/)
- a podcast with 2 of my favorites. I loved it! (SJP #038: Anne Bogel: How Understanding Personality Changes Everything)
- podcast: Beyond the To-Do List (Anne Bogel on the Benefits and Differences of Personality Assessments)
“If my personality is the lens through which I see the world, then I’ve learned to look at it instead of just through it.”
– Reading People by Anne Bogel
My Other Favorite Books on Personality:
- The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin – This is a great resource if you want to make progress on goals and habits but things are not sticking. Gretchen approaches how we deal with inner and outer expectations. This knowledge will help you move towards what you want in your life and form habits that actually work in your unique lifestyle.
- Here is her free quiz to find which one you are: The 4 Tendencies Quiz
- Strengths-Finder by Tom Rath – This is one of the frameworks discussed in Anne’s book. Honestly, I had forgotten about it until I read that chapter. I encountered Strengths-Finder in my early 20’s and found it to be so helpful. I was encouraged by the radically different approach of making the most of what I do well. So much of personality testing in the 90’s was focused on the negative and working on your weaknesses. I find the approach that Tom Rath started refreshing and life-giving. We all have areas where we shine and things that come naturally to us. That is where we should be spending our energy and time. It makes life fulfilling and stretches our abilities with natural personal growth.
- Here is a link to get you started: The 34 Clifton Strengths Themes Explain Your Talent DNA
- Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord – This is a great place to start learning about the Enneagram. I found the second half of the book to be a great textbook for understanding my type and moving forward in personal growth. I still reference these pages often. The first half is a personal story and part technical explanation of how the Enneagram affects our daily lives (and marriage). This is great reading if you want to understand how it works.
- They have great online materials here: https://www.becomingus.com/
- The Highly Sensitive Parent: Be Brilliant in Your Role, Even When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. – Yes. Just yes. Much needed book for me and very practical. It was full of permission slip style advice that allowed me to settle into who I am and how I have been created without shame. For a long time I have been “white knuckling” and pushing myself through. Now I have strategies and ways to make situations that are overwhelming more successful. I really enjoyed chapter 3 in Reading People . Anne shared her personal experience with being HSP and relatable solutions she uses in her very busy life.
- Free quiz from Dr. Aron: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
- I talked about HSP and texture sensitivity in this article too.
- Introverted Mom by Jamie Martin – Years ago this book was a kind companion to me when I felt like I was not enough. I heard her in a conversation on a podcast and knew her book would be just what I needed. I find Jamie’s words comforting, practical, and understanding. I wish I had this book when I was a young mom. The subtitle is: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy. 💟 So awesome!
- Here is a link to her online community and a fun quiz: https://jamiecmartin.com/introvert/
“Understanding my personality has helped me make smart, informed decisions about my life.”
– Reading People by Anne Bogel
My favorite YouTube Channels:
(for personality binge-watching and late night humor)
- Enneagram – I enjoy exploring this complicated framework with humor and a light-hearted perspective. Yes, I have taken the time to study it seriously. But these short clips can be a fun way to see places in my life affected by personality and steer me in a healthy direction.
- Leanne and Michelle – Enneagram Types in the Kitchen & Worst Gifts Ideas by Enneagram Type
- They are Arizona moms who create hilarious comedy in their free time.
- Abbey Howe – Enneagram Types Working from Home
- Abby has a ton of great material to quickly understand the Enneagram.
- Leanne and Michelle – Enneagram Types in the Kitchen & Worst Gifts Ideas by Enneagram Type
- MBTI (Myers Briggs) – This complicated personality typing can be overwhelming. I really enjoy the way Frank James takes situations and changes his reaction based on how different people would react. He is accurate and hilarious.
- Introverts/Extrovert – This is an area I find endlessly fascinating and also confusing. I am someone who could be placed solidly in either category depending on the situation or my energy level. I often refer to myself as an introvert but most people who know me think of me as an extrovert (especially in public settings). So I enjoy learning about this more and identifying with each category.
- Introvert VS Extrovert // Which are you? – The Holderness Family
- National Introvert Day PSA – Kim Holderness
- Introvert Mom vs Extrovert Mom – Frank James
- The power of introverts | Susan Cain – Tedx talk
Questions for you:
What fascinates you about personality frameworks?
What is your favorite personality-themed quiz?
Do you believe that people can change who they are and how they see the world?
What experiences have you had with personality tests that left you frustrated? What have you enjoyed?
How do you learn more about how you have been created and your unique gifts?
The goal in all of this is to understand ourselves better and to love others with grace and compassion.
When I know my natural tendencies and strengths, I can show up in the world as a better version of myself. I have no desire to put myself into a mold that fits someone else. I want to extend that same understanding to my kids, Jim, my friends, and my family. It is easier to assume the best when I can see the personality traits of others causing friction. I am able to give more grace to others with these frameworks.
I hope that this is helpful to you in your own journey.
🍵📖Wishing you a cozy afternoon with tea and a good book – April
(I couldn’t resist a fully Enneagram 9 closing. 😉)
Photos by Elina Sitnikova and others on Unsplash
🌞You might find these interesting:
Other articles on Personality