My Story –
I have found that hobbies have become an important part of being “just April”. Myself. Just me. Not all the roles I play and things I do. But just me, creating something for the sake of creation.
I used to tell myself that I will have hobbies when my kids are grown, or when I have more time. But not anymore. 2020 has taught me that I need to develop hobbies now. I want to be a well-rounded person now.
I want to be a healthy example for my kids and the people around me. I want to be fully alive, embracing the fun, showing up as my best self. My tendency to be productive and push the feelings down makes for a subdued and boring life.
Article Outline –
- My Story
- Hobby Idea List.
- Mindset change – Household tasks as hobbies
- Questions for you
- Some obstacles to making time for our hobbies.
- My Encouragement for You
“Slow hobbies are good hobbies. I cannot come up with a hobby that is rushed: fishing, crocheting, rock climbing…”
“I cared most about being liked versus liking myself. When you start listening to your own heart and your own wants life gets so much richer.”
“Hobbies are so important! They bring connection with others and ourselves.”
– That Sounds Fun by Annie F. Downs
Hobby Idea List:
Here are some hobbies that I have enjoyed at different times and in a variety of ways:
- Painting objects
- canning
- nature journaling
- knitting
- homemade things
- sewing
- baking
- homemade soap
- finger knitting
- painting on a canvas
- Baking fresh bread each week
- wood burning
- paper crafting
- walking
- journaling
- candle making
- Nature Study
- Reading poetry
- Organizing areas of my home
- Bird watching
- Weightlifting / kickboxing
- Photography
- Hiking
- Gardening
- Raising chickens
- Adult coloring
- Cloud watching and learning about weather.
There is something beautiful about learning a new skill or creating something from scratch.
“You get to experiment without the consequences. You get to create what is in your head rather than adapting to someone else’s expectations.”
“Initiating a project with no parameters and no expectations from others also forces you to stay self-aware and learn to follow your intuition.”
from Manage Your Day-to-Day by Jocelyn K. Glei
Mindset change – Household tasks as hobbies
In addition to learning a skill, I can also add to my daily household tasks with some new input and new ideas. Cleaning tasks can become a hobby with a mindset shift. I look at household tasks as an opportunity to listen to something educational.
I have found that washing dishes pairs nicely with watching YouTube. Sweeping, mopping, and laundry go with listening to a favorite podcast. Driving my kids to and from all the things is the perfect time for an audiobook. Outside chores (raking, sweeping, cleaning, pulling weeds) are great for enjoying new stations on Spotify.
Some prep is needed to make this happen with ease.
My favorite tools:
- A good headset or earbuds.
- An idea ahead of time or a queue of things to listen to/watch.
- Sometimes a portable charger is useful
- a phone stand also makes things easier.
It may seem that I’m creating a contradiction by saying that you could change your mindset on your household tasks. To create enjoyment with what you are doing. But, that’s not replacing vibrant life-giving hobbies with household tasks. It is turning mindless tasks into enjoyment. I can pair it nicely with other more traditional hobbies.
My YouTube feed is often full of new skills to learn or how-to videos.
(More about Audiobooks in this article)
Questions for you:
- What is a fun hobby idea for you?
- What are some activities that make you feel like yourself?
- What lights you up or excites you to learn more?
- What makes you come alive?
- What did you enjoy doing before you had kids?
- What makes you feel like you have been transported back in time to your “junior high self”?
- (Before you could drive but you had a bit more independence.)
- Who were you as a kid? What kinds of things did you enjoy?
- What were your favorite school subjects? Why?
- When in your childhood did you feel free and fully excited about what you were doing?
- What did you like to spend time on if you had a whole Saturday free this week with no obligations?
- What household task requires very little thinking and frees you up to listen to a podcast or watch a YouTube video How-To?
- Who do you know who has a hobby that you admire?
- If you retired tomorrow, what would you do with your free time?
Some obstacles to making time for our hobbies:
I have so much to do!
There obviously must be a balance. We must spend time doing the things to homeschool and run a household. However, if I do not get dirt under my nails from gardening, or make a mess with candle making, then what kind of life is that? Choosing to spend time on a hobby and chase the fun is worth it. We want to feel connected to ourselves. We want to create connections with other people when we share new hobbies and skills.
Others will not understand!
Other people may not agree when you start doing things that you need. This could be your kids, a spouse, a needy friend, a co-worker who dumps problems on you, volunteer work that drains you, or extended family.
They will often be angry or upset that you have changed the balance that was there. After all, they were happy with the arrangement. All their needs were getting met and you were silently suffering so why not continue that arrangement? Why do things need to change?
They have not felt the pain, you have. It will be an uphill battle to become yourself again. But it is all worth it and they will appreciate what has changed. You cannot pour from an empty bucket forever. You must be filled as well.
Small kids are exhausting!
Yes, Yes, they are! Tiny humans require so much from us. They are adorable and wonderfully fulfilling but also hard. Caring for small kids means your day is full of diapers, snacks, noise, messes, and not having much adult conversation.
As a young mom, I did not maintain hobbies and I was terrible at self-care. The needs of my home and my littles in front of me was so much louder than my own internal desires and dreams. Taking care of myself was constantly delayed to “tomorrow” or “next week”. But I never followed through and so I just wore myself out.
In this time, what I needed more than anything, was to be kind to myself. To rest in the truth that what I was doing was hard and it was enough. I still need to hear this even though my youngest is 6….
[See my article about being a mom of young kids.]
Being a beginner is hard!
Being new at something can a wonderfully difficult and humbling experience. We all need to remember what it feels like to be a beginner again. It gives us compassion for our kids when they are learning skills and it shows us that we are capable of hard things.
My cupcakes might look like a Pinterest fail, but they tasted delicious… My homemade candles might be lopsided, but it was fun to make them with my daughter… My piano playing is disjointed and full of bad notes… and my newly sewn curtains are a bit crooked. But I am glad that I did all those things. I am proud of the effort and skills I learned trying something new.
“Do something badly. Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.”
from Gretchen Rubin’s podcast episode #159
I feel stuck!
New ideas are needed for growth. Education, parenting, and relationships work best when new ideas are present. We need discovery and exploration. That can often take courage and making a lot of mistakes.
We all know this but sometimes we forget. Sometimes we get stuck on why this is all so hard. At each stage of parenting, we need to be growing and gathering new ways to do things. Getting stuck stops us from growth and that is when we get unhealthy. Then patterns of the past take over.
I want my kids to be raised by a mom who is “not done”. I want my kids to see adults in their home who push themselves and do hard things.
Real, vibrant life is found in ideas, hobbies, and discovery.
I love how this is phrased from Kendra Adachi from the Lazy Genius podcast and now bestseller book. It is on p. 186, talking about softness towards ourselves and in chapter 13 “Be Kind to Yourself”.
“Without affection for ourselves, without softness on the inside, without being kind to ourselves, we will always be tired. We will always carry what we were never intended to carry and dig holes that go nowhere. Our energy goes to keeping up with our moving finish line, leaving no space for contentment and acceptance of who and where we are right now.”
– Kendra Adachi from the Lazy Genius Way
My Encouragement for You
Fight for yourself. Make some space for trying something new. Pick up an old childhood interest and give it a fresh perspective. Start with things that you loved. Read a series from your teen years. (Baby-sitters Club anyone?) Get out some blank paper and sketch something fun. Borrow your toddler’s playdough and make a scary creature. Get out a jigsaw puzzle. Go to the bookstore and find a hobby book that catches your eye.
It will be an uphill battle to become yourself again. It is worth it! You cannot pour from an empty bucket for forever. You must be filled as well. Choosing to spend time on a hobby and chase the fun is worth it. We want to feel connected to ourselves. We want to create connections with other people when we share new hobbies and learn new things.
Start this week. Start small. Choose something easy and simple. You got this!!
Take care, April
