My Life in Lists

I have found freedom in list-making. 

I know those two are contradictory statements but stick with me for a minute. When I know what I need to get done, what is expected of me, what I want to see accomplished, then I can choose what to do.  I can make a conscious decision to spend my time on something or ignore it. I feel so much calm and freedom in this.  I feel frantic when I listen to “the squeakiest wheel”, the loud, and the urgent.  I end up wasting time on what does not matter to me.  

My lists are not about accomplishment, they are about focus.   

Lists save me from getting distracted. 

When I see what needs to be done, without stopping for reflection, then I do things in the wrong order. I sweep the floor and forget to prep today’s school lessons. My bathroom cabinet gets organized but then a birthday shows up on the calendar and I do not have gifts or plans made to celebrate that child. I end up folding laundry that could be done whenever and not thawing the meat for tonight’s dinner.  

• What is most important to you?   
• What absolutely must be done this week?  
• What is coming next week or next month that you need to think about?   
• What life season are you in and what does that mean for your activities? 
• What does your season mean for your meal planning?  

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List-making saves me time and brain space.  

If I have lists ready then I am able to do similar things together. I batch my tasks so that I am not scattered and wasting time. It is faster and more efficient to get everything done in one category all at once.  I am no longer getting things done in pieces randomly. Also, if I know that I need milk and cheese at the grocery store then I can get them both while I am there.   

• What categories do your tasks have? 
• Do you have tasks that are similar that you can do together? 
• Can you meal prep several dinners all at once? 
• Can you fold 3 loads of laundry this afternoon and then be done for a few days? 
• Batching is all about efficiency.  Think assembly line workers. What can you get done all at once while you listen to a podcast? 

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Lists stretch me out of my comfort zone. 

They remind me to be flexible and try new things.  Let me explain. Seasonal bucket lists are something I make every few months to enjoy the weather and current calendar season.  We often have a meeting as a family and talk about what would be fun to add to this season.  We like to look at last year’s calendar and Pinterest to get ideas.  

• Spring – Egg hunts, carnivals, finding spring wildflowers, homemade crafts 
• Summer – swimming, outdoor music events, BBQ foods, VBS, fireworks 
• Fall – Pumpkin picking, fall festivals, hikes to see leaves changing, baking 
• Back to School – first day celebrations, school shopping, new reading lists 
• Christmas – light displays, paid performances, decorating, family recipes 
• Winter – soup in the crockpot, playing in the snow, hot cocoa, candles 

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Lists remind me that connection is important. 

I have date night lists, things to do with Jim, and movies we want to watch together. I also love lists about things to do with each of my kids. I have lists for questions to ask to have great conversations, fun things to do together, responsibilities to teach them, places to go, recipes to try, rainy day activities, difficult topics to discuss with my teens, books to read together, and restaurants to eat at as a family. These help me be the “Fun Mom” that I want to be, instead of the task-oriented slave driver that I tend to lean toward.  

• What are some fun and free activities that you want to do with your family? 
• Where would you go with your kids if you had an afternoon free? 
• How will you teach them to cook? 
• What books are you reading together? What audiobooks are you listening to on long car rides? 
• Are there restaurants that you go to often? What are some new ones to try? 
• If you were a tourist in your town, where would you go? What would you do? Where would you eat? What is special about your local area? 
• What are some fun questions you can ask to get to know your kid better? 

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Lists help me keep track of what I have completed. 

I love Ta-Da lists!!  They keep me grounded in what I have actually done. When I get in a funk the most effective thing for me to do is write out all the things I have done that day. I write down all the silly small things and the big ones. I list all the things I have done to grow relationships along with the household tasks. This makes a dramatic difference for me. I can see in a tangible way everything I have completed and also list out everything I want to do. It validates the truth of my situation. 

Ta-Da List Questions:

• What small things have I done today? 
• What big things have worked on? 
• What healthy habits have I made progress on? 
• This morning I have made breakfast, grocery shopped, sorted the mail, folded a load of laundry, built a pillow fort in living room, snacks, talked with neighbor, lunch prep….etc. 

I am able to reset my expectations when I see that I have a list of 20+ things that I am expecting myself to do during a one-hour toddler nap time. Or I can give myself credit when I see over 30 things listed that I have done before 3:00pm.

I often overestimate how much I can get done and underestimate how much I have already accomplished. 

The beauty of lists is actually NOT doing all the things.  

Why Make Lists?

I have created these diverse kinds of lists after spending way too much time on the wrong things. I have lists for each of these areas that I use for reference.  There is space in my bullet journal for my goals in each of these places.  

But really these lists are not about accomplishment, they are about focus.  

Am I spending my time on things that I care about?  

Lists are not about completion.  

Let’s say that I am looking at a “Winter Fun Bucket List” and I only get 5 things done before March.  That’s awesome!  We did some fun things together that made our time feel more like a cozy and fun winter season. Five things are definitely more than zero!

Next year will come around again and I can do the others that didn’t fit into this year. Or not.  My kids remember the small fun things that we do and it all adds up to a beautiful childhood for them.  I don’t have to do something big and great every day or even every week.  

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Making a list is a moment of reflection.  

Reflection is an incredibly important practice as a parent, wife, friend, and as a person. Without time to look back and think, we just move forward without a plan.  Clarity comes with time spent making decisions about where we want to go and how we want to get there.   For me, lists are not about accomplishment, they are about focus.  

Sometimes I sit down and make a list, then I carry on with my day not checking anything off or even looking at the list again.  But that is totally fine.  I have felt the weight of mental fatigue lift by getting it out on paper.  I have had the time for reflection and now I know what is important.  

My hope for you is that whatever you day holds or whatever intimidating tasks you have written on your lists that you will feel calm and clarity. That you are able to do what is important to you today, this week and in this season.

Happy List-making!  – April

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Photos from Unsplash

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