When I hit burnout at age 38, I knew that I was not alone. One question has driven my writing and desire to create practical tools for others.
When I hit burnout at age 38, I realized many women face similar struggles in their late 30s and early 40s. This led me to explore the concept of home during my healing journey.
When I began writing, gathering tools, and finding joy in new ways, I kept coming back to the value of homemaking. I needed to redefine this idea that had become mixed up and warped by our culture.
When I saw my role as mom and homemaker from a new perspective, everything changed.
Embracing a home-centered life has allowed me to find peace, autonomy, and fulfillment.
I am so thankful for the perspective shift that came in the midst of my burnout recovery: I will embrace what I can control.
The answer that I returned to again and again was the power of autonomy.
autonomy – noun
as in choice = the act or power of making one’s own choices or decisions
self-determination, volition, free will, option, will, preference, predisposition, inclination, tendency1
I believe that we have the ability to shape our home environments with intention.
We can have autonomy within our houses, apartments, and condos.
The choices that we make there matter.
The small daily decisions impact who we are and the kind of life that we live.
By intentionally shaping our home environments we can create places of peace and sanctuary in this overwhelming world. Within the walls of our homes we can decide how much we allow the influence of others.
I believe that when we are looking for our needs to be met we can look first at our home environment to be that place of fulfillment. We don’t need to rely on outside sources.
I love writing about small and big ways that we can apply this mindset shift in our homes and households. I care about all the pieces that we juggle in our adult lives that do not come with instruction manuals.
Topics that matter to me are the ones often overlooked or undervalued.
- weekly planning
- education and life-long learning
- weekend rest
- seasonal rhythms
- hobbies
- slowing down
- reading
- trip planning
- making space for growth
My writing coach wrote this introduction to my blog:
“From earliest days, the word home has been a powerful ideal in our minds. Whether real or imagined, it speaks of safety and warmth and connection. In the last century the homemaker has been idealized, stereotyped and mocked. But a new generation is discovering the power of creating a home.”
– Stacie Curtis Seaman
For the past 4 years the question that has driven my writing and desire to create practical tools for others is this:
“Why do so many women in their late 30’s and early 40’s have a mid-life crisis or health issues that come from overwhelming stress?”
I believe the answer is that we have lost the art of homemaking and autonomy.
We have gotten bogged down in the critical view of “women’s work” and we have lost the hidden power of a well cared for home environment. In the midst of our busy schedules, we have forgotten the planning required to create an organized home life.
We are so busy doing the important stuff “out there” that we forget to create a place of comfort and calm here in our homes.
I recently enjoyed this podcast: Why I’m embracing a home-centered life from: The Tea’s Made with Meagan Francis. It reminded me of this post sitting in my drafts. The way she articulated ideas I had struggled to put into words was powerful for me. (seriously, go check it out!)
“In midlife, I’m looking for a calmer, less-expensive and less consumption-oriented experience. In this [podcast] episode I share why I’m happy to let my current lifestyle center around pursuits at home, what a “home-centered” life means to me, and the benefits of looking “in here” instead of “out there” for entertainment, socializing, and creativity.” – The Tea’s Made with Meagan Francis
Much like Meagan, I spent way too many years looking outside my home for entertainment, social validation, excitement, and great food. I felt like “real life” was lived outside the walls of my house and that anything done at home didn’t really matter. This made my early years of being a stay-at-home mom incredibly difficult and exhausting. And, much later, lead to my burnout.
Reflection Questions: How can you redefine homemaking for your lifestyle?
In what ways to you live a home-centered life?
I believe that the work that we do in homemaking matters for us and those in our household.
As we prioritize intentional living within our homes, we can create environments that nurture and sustain us (and our families) in meaningful ways. Embracing a home-centered life has allowed me to find peace and fulfillment within my own walls, and I hope to inspire you to do the same.2
I would love to hear your thoughts!
🏡💙- April
Thank you for reading. This post is public so feel free to share it. 😁 Share
Cover Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash
2 Some bonus content for those who read until the end:
I was recently working on my book edits for Subtle Resistance. Here is peek into the overview of Chapter 6: a peaceful home.
Our homes can be a sanctuary from this busy demanding world. In our living rooms, kitchens, and bedrooms we can create a comfortable place to rest and feel like ourselves. This can be difficult. Homes are naturally messy, chaotic, and gross. Also, homemade meals bring our families together, help us financially, and feed our households. To do this well we need to do some simple meal planning. The work that we do in homemaking matters for us and those in our household.
Key Ideas:
o Making the home cozy, organized, and clean prepares the space for use.
o Organization is more than fancy baskets.
o Decluttering regularly helps us prioritize what we keep in our homes.
o Routines and priorities can change in different seasons.
o Some practical meal planning tips can make a big impact on the week.
o Homemaking can be grounding and calming for everyone in the household.